Why Didn't I Get the Speaking Gig???

You got the rejection email. You were in the running, and THEN they went with someone else. Not only did they go with someone else, but you know that someone else—and you’re a better speaker.

So why did they hire that person instead of you?

Coming from the acting world, I can tell you there are a few reasons you may not have considered as a speaker.

1. Your Marketing Assets Aren’t Good

You can be an amazing speaker, but if you have a boring headshot where you look like everyone else, a so-so demo reel, and an uninteresting talk title, they’ll glaze right over you.

In acting, the headshot is everything. There has to be something that stands out—usually the expression, the eyes, or the colors. The same is true for your photo. If you have the typical boring gray or blue background headshot with your arms crossed in a suit… snooze.

You need something—whether it’s a standout demo reel, humor in your email, or a talk title that makes people do a double take—to get them to look at you as a speaker more intentionally.

2. You Were Lazy With Your Info

If you fill out an RFP (Request for Proposal) but don’t do it correctly, or if your email makes it hard for them to find your links or understand what you speak on, they’ll skip right over you.

3. Your Talk Description Makes No Sense (or Is Boring)

A million people speak on leadership. Why should they pick YOU over everyone else?

Your description should explain that. It should be tight, interesting, and catchy—not just to grab attention from the decision-makers, but also to attract attendees. After all, the description you submit is often what gets shared with the audience.

4. You’re Not the Right “Feel”

If you’re an AI speaker trying to talk to government employees right now—bad fit. Government workers don’t care about AI when they’re in crisis mode. A mental health, change management, or resilience speaker? That’s who they need.

The same applies if you’re a mental health speaker who leads deep-breathing exercises. You’re probably not the right fit for an after-dinner keynote. Nobody can breathe out for seven seconds when they’re chewing dessert.

5. Your Price

Either you’re too low, making them assume you aren’t good, or too high, exceeding their budget.

Everyone wants a deal, but they want a high-quality deal. Nobody really cares about paying 80 cents for a discounted $1 store item. But they do care about paying $80 for a $160 product.

Know your market.

6. Casting

Here’s where acting and speaking overlap.

If I’m casting a commercial about taking your family to a restaurant, I need a boy, a girl, and their parents—maybe grandparents.

I can’t have a 17-year-old boy with a 3-year-old girl, a 6'2" redheaded mom, and a 5'9", 25-year-old dad.

Can this exist in real life? Absolutely! But commercials don’t take artistic risks when they only have 30 seconds to sell a product.

Is it right? No. But it’s real.

The same is true for a speaker lineup. If they already have two 60-year-old white guys who owned companies talking about leadership, there’s one too many on the docket.

7. Someone Knows Someone

This is also very true in acting.

Choosing a speaker is always a risk. If someone knows a speaker is solid, and you’re just a name on a website, they’ll often go with the known.

There are A-list actors who win awards, like Meryl Streep or Dustin Hoffman. There are solid, dependable actors, like Paul Rudd or Katherine Heigl. And then there are… well, cruddy actors. (Like me. JK. But also… not.)

You might be an A-list speaker, but if Jake Gyllenhaal is difficult to work with and Paul Rudd is easy—Paul’s getting the part.

8. They’re Better at Sales

I’m making this stat up, but for me personally, 7 out of 10 times, this is why I don’t get booked.

They sold themselves better on the call or had a stronger follow-up system.

Nixie drinks are higher quality and better for you, but Pepsi has better sales and marketing. That’s why no one knows about Nixie, and people settle for something that isn’t as good for them.

9. They’re Better Than You

Yep. It’s a real possibility.

You may have an overinflated ego thinking you’re better when… you’re actually not.

There are waaaay better actors, comedians, and speakers than me. And more are up and coming. It’s just part of the business.

You’ll never be the best. You probably won’t be the worst. So just do your best in the in-between.

Want Help Getting Booked?

A few of my coaching clients are finishing up, and it’s been amazing to see where they’re heading.

I have a few (literally just a few) slots opening up. I don’t take many clients because of my own speaking schedule, and I want to make sure the people I coach get the best of me.

So, I’m offering six months of unlimited speaker coaching/consulting for $4,500—for the first two people who jump in.

If you know you need help moving forward, you can learn more here: https://www.boringtosoaringspeeches.com/offers/uLbawzDd/checkout

Let’s get you booked. Let’s get you paid. Let’s get you on stage.

– Stacy P.