How to Stop Hating Yourself on Video
You Hate Being on Camera.
I get it.
Your nose looks funny. Your head does a weird side tilt thing when you talk that you didn't know it did. Your voice sounds shockingly different. You didn't know your office or your hair actually looked like that.
However, you KNOW you should be making videos.
Or worse, you just paid a fortune for a videographer to create your demo reel and you hate all the footage they shot.
As an actor who has done a lot of commercials and some film, I so understand the cringe factor of watching yourself. An acting coach once gave me the advice, that I turned into a worksheet below, to help you.
First, remember we live in a world of glorious photo and video filters. I am so spoiled with using filters that a regular photo or video of me makes me want to dry heave. Here's the truth. You don't look like the filtered version of you. SORRY! But you can't expect to be on regular video and think the filtered you is going to show up. It's not. The regular video is what you really look like...sort of.
Which leads me to thought number two: the camera does weird things. The tiniest movements look huge. It's also true that the camera makes you look bigger. If you've ever seen constant working actresses in real life they are TINY. They look like they haven't eaten in 40 years. Why? The camera makes you heavier.
Which leads me to point number three (and then I will get to your homework). The video isn't about you. The video shouldn't be about your hair, crooked teeth, flared nostril, or weird collar things going on with your button up. The video should be providing good content. If it's good content, nobody is scrutinizing you the way you are scrutinizing you. They are busy listening or watching whatever it is you have to share.
Here is the advice my acting coach gave me years ago that helped me get over myself. He told me to watch my video 5 times in a row. During the 5 times, I am allowed to be grossed out by my gummy smile, bad hair, chin fat, etc.
By the 5th time I will be sick of watching it and hating on myself. This is where I can get into the real work in watching the content rather than watching "me". I can see ways I can improve, what works/didn't work and do better next time.
The final thing step is recognizing is the content helpful (even if that means pure entertainment) to other people in some way? If it is, then helping is more important than you hiding by not posting your video.
I will throw in a controversial statement in that as a woman, I do face more scrutiny with my looks than a lot of male colleagues. I know this because I have asked them and they are shocked at some of the comments I have recieved.
People happily point out my bad hair, eyebrows, annoying voice, and it totally hurts my feelings. (Usually on YouTube.) However, I go back to the thought, "Is my content helping people?" If it is, the few that feel the need to narrow down my value to my desirability and looks, are not the people I'm looking to help. They don't get a say. It stings, but they don't define my purpose.
Hope the worksheet helps. 💖 Stacy P.
